I'm captivated by color and creation and the magical growth of a seed developing into a plant, but, sadly, my thumbs are brown--not a green one to be found. In fact, I've even been known to kill a succulent or two (Tell me, how does one manage to kill a cactus?).
Growing up in the suburbs of St. Louis, I helped my parents garden large plots of land and raise chickens. I couldn't do much other than water (with supervision) and weed, but my dad somehow possessed that secret application to grow lush plants and plentiful harvests.
The few times I've tried to garden in a little raised box, I've been met with spindly stalks and shriveled leaves. I either over-water or under-water. I can't seem to get the right soil. And if that doesn't succeed in destroying my attempts, the bugs devour what's left.
The other night, Aaron heard my lament again--same song, different stanza. I am not making a dent. I can't get anywhere with these kids. Everything I say feels like a new idea the next day; like I'm just going through the same futile motions every hour.
Discouraged, I went to bed and read Larry Crabb's words, "Imagine yourself faithfully following your call to serve when your only results are more weeds." That's it! That's exactly how I feel. How did he know? Day after day of pulling weeds.
Why am I doing what I'm doing? Am I doing it for a particular outcome, or am I just doing it as an act of worship to Him? Hard questions for this results-oriented girl.
But, I'm learning...ever. so. slowly.
"...everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." (Phil. 3:8, NLT).
Regardless of what "profits" my life produces, I can succeed and move forward if my focus is on knowing Christ. And that's enough to keep me pulling weeds till He returns or calls me Home.
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When life leaves you feeling "blah".
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