When You Aren't Good Enough and That's Okay

We're sitting at the table this morning, eating Cheerios with fresh peaches, and reciting Awana Bible verses (trust me, most mornings are not this idyllic). My three-year-old Awana Cubby repeats his condensed version of Romans 3:23, but then Landon queries, "Why does he have to learn that verse?It doesn't say anything about God or what He did." This boy doesn't miss a thing.

I nod in consent, "You're right, Bubby. Why do you think it matters that we know 'All have sinned'? What does that tell us about who we are and what we need?"

He ponders the question and responds, "Because we need God."

Ding-a-ding. Give that boy a prize.

I take a last bite of peach and internally consider what recognizing our depraved need does for us. What happens when we don't acknowledge it? After all, if we think "we're pretty good," what use do we have for a Savior? In our minds, we don't need saving. We become the proverbial man on the roof, stranded by high-rising flood waters, oblivious to our impending doom, shaking a shoo-away hand at anyone who comes by in a boat.

Peace and security don't follow ignorant distraction. Or from pretending that our truth is found in an alternate reality--one that denies our Creator, our need for saving, and our Savior's plan. He's the one that writes the story and He's already scripted the final plot twist and climax.

Going back to my son--lest you think him a redeemed angel--he proved his point in full display not one hour later. Refusing to obey to my command and yelling explosively at his brother, he demonstrated the ugliness of our natural sinful state. Calmly instructing him in how he should talk to his brother and me (ahem, screaming "I hate you!" is not okay) did not result in remorse. The consequence of losing treats, TV and shortening his bedtime just invoked further outrage.

People often see consequence as some kind of annoying blight on their fun. In other words, if people just ignored a standard of absolute right/wrong, everyone could do what's right in his own eyes and all would be well. Really? Does anything become punishable at that point? Who determines what is morally wrong and what isn't? Authorities? What if those in power change...do morals morph too? Some would say a culture determines what's permissible and what's punishable? Some would say it's "majority rules." If that idea were true, then people would agree that Germans should have fully complied to Nazi standards. That major genocide was acceptable.

Without launching into a deep theological explanation--that's not the purpose of this post--we have to ask ourselves, who decides what's good enough? If the standard is ever fluctuating, how do we rely on it? If it's cultural, is it dependable?

Obviously, the standard--if it's to be one at all--must rest contingent on a source outside ourselves. The law of gravity isn't subject to human interpretation. Of course, I suppose you could claim, "I defy gravity and will prove that my way is better" and jump off a 10-story building. Of course, you'd only prove that gravity remains steadfast and people that jump are people that die.
Likewise, the definition of right/wrong, good/evil, and sin originates with the One who writes the Story.

We are born broken.
We are walking dead.
We are fallen and prone to stumble.
We are selfish.
We are lustful and rebellious.

But, we are created for a different purpose.

We are called created with a plan.
We are cherished and valuable.
We are wanted.
We are loved.

We were designed for a life other.

But, we can't get there on our own.

No amount of denial or striving or conjuring will get us to the side of eternal atonement.
We need a Redeemer.

You aren't good enough, and therefore, you should rejoice! The hope of salvation doesn't have to come from within, for He already covered it all. Everything you did and couldn't do was buried with Him and now we rise again renewed and eternal. We've been given a new hope.

1 Peter 1:18-21The Message)

 Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ’s sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It’s because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

One of the attributes I love about my husband is his deep-thinking, analytical processing. He doesn't ignore the important topics just because they're hard to wrestle with and he's not intimidated by illogical ranting. He doesn't go looking for an argument, but he's prepared to debate the argument if that's what's necessary and vital. Even though he detests conflict, he's just as passionate about the truth as I am. In fact, in many situations, he's able to get at the root of an issue much more efficiently and rationally than I do. It takes me longer to weed through the weedy brush surrounding a topic. 

That said, we have many discussions, fleshing out our beliefs and why we believe them. Ultimately, everything we stand on must be mounted to Scripture. If we push that standard aside, our beliefs slip into subjective oblivion based on emotions and experiences and deficient human nature. 

The other day, we examined the debate circling the word "love." Love used to have a more solidified meaning, but in today's culture, love has hit the fan and splattered across the wall in distorted forms. 

Now, for those who do not believe in the Bible or God's standards of truth, you can concoct your own definition of love based on your feelings or the cultural trends of transitory experiences. But, if you do that, please don't think you can then coerce your subjective ideas on anyone else. Your ideas are based on nothing more than your personal preference and don't come outside yourself. 

For those who recognize that truth must come from Someone unchanging and eternal and altogether holy, than we look to I Corinthians 13:4-8. He's the one who makes the rules, the definitions, and sense of everything. 

Here's how my husband put it:

Love is a seriously misunderstood idea within our culture. God alone is the source of love. We have the privilege of being able to love God and others because he first loved us. Because of our sin nature, we have a distorted view of love and therefore struggle to love properly. What should be our standard for love? For the Christian (and Christian love is what you are calling into question), our source of truth is the Bible:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (ESV)

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

One thing you notice is that none of the descriptors are feelings. Each is a choice or ultimately a response to the love that we are given. Obviously, the Church does not always reflect or choose to consistently uphold the biblical standard for love. Why? Because we are still broken, sinful people that struggle to properly reflect the image of our creator. When we surrender our life to God, we do not cease to sin. Again, this is a reminder of our depravity

 My desire for myself and the Church is to truly love others and because of that love speak truth boldly and humbly. The bold truth is founded in what God teaches: that love does not rejoice at wrongdoing (in any manifestation), but rejoices with the truth. It would be unloving for the Church to embrace a sinful lifestyle. Sadly, we don’t express that truth with humility.

We often try to fix the manifestation or symptom of our sin rather than focus on the root problem. We are all sinners in need of a Savior.

How has "love" becoming something it's not?  I love my children, but I certainly don't love or embrace everything they do. They do some wrong things, and it would be altogether unloving for me to say, "Ya know what? It's okay. It's what you felt like doing today and I need to let you be you." They aren't the sum total of their choices. Their identity isn't secured in their choices. Thank God!  They also don't get to make up their own identity or rules. God established our identity and purpose a long time ago, and we had nothing to do with it. 
I would gently and lovingly remind them that if you play with fire, you get burned. So, stay away from the flame. Will they be tempted to touch it at times? Of course.  But, the loving thing any of us can do is encourage one another toward that which is life-giving, that which is truth. My children aren't their own gods--and neither am I.  Knowing Him as God (not some Being we can control or manipulate) allows me to walk in wisdom and understanding and my true purpose.

Proverbs 9:10 (NLT)

 Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom.
    Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment.

John Piper puts true love in these terms:The love of God is not God's making much of us, but God's saving us from self-centeredness so that we can enjoy making much of him forever. And our love to others is not our making much of them, but helping them to find satisfaction in making much of God. True love aims at satisfying people in the glory of God.  Love must be God-centered, or it is not true love; it leaves people without their final hope of joy.  (emphasis mine)