Thursday proved challenging, like a leftover Monday that
didn’t get its last dig in before the day’s end. By nap time I was desperate for an excuse to
get outside and let off some frustrated energy.
My husband usually push-mows our little lot, but we’d both had colds all
week and the day prior he’d pulled a muscle in his neck and shoulder. He doesn’t
like his wife to be “out there mowing,” but I assure him that it’s an enjoyable
necessity for me, so he concedes the task at times.
Having pulled on my old tennis shoes, sequestered to the
garage in all their grass-stained glory, I finagled the mower out to our
driveway. I pulled the cord, and the
machine roared to life…for about two seconds. And then it died. We repeated
this pattern a dozen times before I called my husband at work.
“Is there a choke or something?”
“No, it’s all automatic. Just give it a
couple minutes and see if it works. Otherwise, don’t worry about it, Pal. You
don’t need to do that.”
I told him I wanted to, and by that point, I really wanted to. I needed to feel like
everything in my day hadn’t ended in failure or frustration.
I let a few minutes pass and tried to mow again. Same issue:
spark of life and then death.
“God, please, I
just want to mow the yard. I want to do this for my husband and I need to do
this for myself. Please, I need to feel sufficient here to do this simple task.”
Honestly, my prayer probably wasn’t that eloquent. It was more along the lines
of “God, please make this stupid thing start.”
Nothing.
I went inside and pulled up videos on similar problems. Turns
out the carburetor needed cleaning. Now,
before you label me a Rosy Riveter, understand that the left part of my brain
doesn’t really function that well. Mechanical work of any kind is as far removed from me
as Pluto. Call it inspiration; call it desperation, but after watching some
60-year-old mechanic detail how to clamp off a fuel line and remove the filter and take apart the carburetor, I got this wacky idea, “I can do that!”
I had to rummage through my husband’s toolboxes to find just
the right wrenches, clamps, and wire (actually, I ended up using an unbent paper
clip at one point), and a roll of paper towels. I crouched on the driveway,
purple rubber cleaning glove on, and step by step willed my hands to follow
what my brain had registered.
Thankfully, I didn’t destroy the mower and managed to put it
all back together again. And even more miraculously, it worked! It started up
and stayed going.
Turns out God did answer my prayer. He did give me what I wanted: some success
and encouragement. But, He also asked me
to risk a little more, persevere a little longer, and reach beyond myself a
little more.
If the mower hadn’t run, He still would have answered my
prayer, because He sustained my spirit through it all. When I was dealing with
heartache earlier in the morning, I asked the Lord to first off keep me calm and
to grant me wisdom for the challenges I was facing with my kids.
Does He give us
victory? Absolutely. But sometimes the “trophy” looks much different than we
anticipate, for He is more concerned with our character than our comfort. Our God isn’t here to be our quick-fix
Genie. And sometimes the wins won’t come
until we face the other side of eternity. But, he does promise us success and
victory... one sweet day.
For a little inspiration for your Friday, watch Yolanda Adam's nail it on Jimmy Fallon.
Colossians 1:11-12 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.
Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
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