Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Receive and Rest

Last week, the evening bewitching hour hit... you moms know the one: your husband is about a half hour from home, dinner is halfway done, the baby claws at your leg and the older two scream bored and tired fighting words. And my oldest child, the daddy's daughter, requests to make her knight some muffins or cookies before he gets home.  Although advanced for her five years, she isn't quite ready to master the recipe all by herself.  Knowing I don't have time to help her, I burst her bubble--probably a little too forcefully--and tell her it will have to wait. Her right fist starts rubbing her eye and tears stream down.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Like I don't know.
But what she says surprises me.
"If I don't give him things, he won't like me anymore."
You could have knocked me over with an large exhale. Really? Where in the world did she get that idea?
Rest assured, I set her straight.
Kneeling down, I cradled her shoulders in my hands and peered into her eyes, "Maddie, your daddy loves you no matter what. Daddy doesn't need you to make stuff for him. He loves you and wants to be with you just because you are his."
I'm not sure she believed me, but my husband reinstated the truth again when he got home.
I'm sure the analogy isn't lost on you.  It's ridiculous that she would think she had to earn her daddy's delight. But we do the equally absurd.  How often do I say, "Of course, God loves me no matter what. I can't make Him love me more or less."  But I don't act that way.  I spin plates and strive beyond my capabilities to try to merit what He's already bestowed on me. 

"He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs." Zephaniah 3:17
My security in Him is already complete, because He is proud of me, just as His child.
My peace is full because I don't have to work toward His love.
My identity is in who I am in Christ--His complete work on my behalf.

I am fully accepted.
I am perfectly loved.
Therefore, I am fully satisfied.

God is showing me verse after verse about finding strength in just doing nothing. Does that sound wrong? It did to me at first.  After all, I am a task-driven, type-A, list-oriented, responsible adult. Isn't doing nothing akin to apathy, laziness, and dependence? All no-no words in my vocabulary.

But I don't want to be steeped in pride and legalism or idolatry. I want to find my full satisfaction in Him and understand that I don't have to earn His admiration. He loves me, no matter what.

About a month ago, God rubbed Isaiah 30:15 into my heart. "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."
And today, Jennifer Rothschild posted this verse on fb: Then he said to me, "This is what the LORD says to Zerubbabel: It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. 
 Really? Are you going to get it, Kristin?  I tell my daughter she doesn't have to do anything but repent and receive.  But am I showing her something different with my actions?
My flesh will fail, that much is sure, BUT God.  BUT GOD.  Isn't that what the Gospel is all about? 

Out of myself and into Him. Only Him.

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully written, my friend. My eyes got teary at Maddie's response. Praise God, she has a mommy and daddy to reorient her little heart to the truth.