My heart has been rather messy this week... slopped around in putrid anger, impatience, frustration, and a deep desire for understanding and justice and confrontation.
But I don't always get my way. And good thing too, I guess. My flesh craves justice and has a strong vision for making it right. Making my heart understood. Protecting those who've been wrongly used. And yet, through my frustration, God is showing me a deep pride that needs to be released.
My security and identity don't rest in another's understanding or assessment of me.
My purpose doesn't lie in how others choose to do life apart from me.
My hope doesn't hold onto the temporary injustices.
God tells me who I am, and I need to be going to him for assessment and truth. "Search my heart, see if there is anything unclean in me."
God determines my path and it won't necessarily look like my fellow sojourners.
God will be final Judge and Jury; He will hold everyone into account--including myself.
And I can rest in this... I must.
Other random thoughts....
Ann Voskamp's words keep filtering through my responses,