Closets

Closets often hold negative connotations. Back "in the day," a water closet was actually where you did your business. Skeletons are said to hide there (deeper family secrets and such) and coming out of the closet refers to choosing the homosexual lifestyle.

We cram our junk in there, our dirty laundry, and our old boxes of memories.

Yes, poor closets just don't get much positive attention.

But when I think of a closet, I remember something more, something mysterious and cozy and comforting. Growing up in our house outside St. Louis, there was a large hall closet that had hinged doors. One side was perpendicular to the wall, but the other side of the closet cut back at an angle, leaving a little triangular nook to hide in. Zach and I would take a pillow or blanket and maybe a flashlight, crawl under our dad's suits and huddle back in that corner. It was quiet, peaceful, and protective. I never felt afraid or paranoid about what other creatures (said... spiders?) might be resting back there too. It was just a place to get away for a little while--to feel nestled.

And sometimes I desire that escape still. I want to crawl back in a corner of the closet, nestled by pillows and just rest and breath and feel the quiet calm. I see that same urge blossom in my daughter as she crawls back into her closet and plays with a doll and I wonder where it comes from. Why we build tents and huddle under tables and crawl into closets.

Surely it comes from a deeper understanding that we are not as independent and powerful as we sometimes convince ourselves we are. We want to know we can hide, we can feel safe and surrounded--protected.

Ultimately that protection doesn't come from a material surrounding. Although a home can shelter us, it can't guarantee whole protection. Only One can do that, and it must be done from the inside-out, not the outside-in.

For me, (as funny as it sounds), Christ is my closet. When I feel overwhelmed, need some quiet space, or just want to feel sheltered, He's the only one that fully surrounds me. I know he's safe; I know I can rest in Him.