I haven't forgotten about you; honestly, I haven't. In part, I just have wondered what to say. Lately, moments of peace have been scattered--mostly because of my distracted and overwhelmed spirit. I haven't been relinquishing like I should. Yesterday was kind of crummy; we found out that my grandma is in the hospital from a heart attack, which she didn't want anyone to know about--weird, I know. Also found out that she has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease--no one knew about the Parkinson's either. What in the world! Then Aaron's parents called last night and Aaron's uncle, Rod's younger brother, just found out he has colon cancer. I love this man so much and it pains me to think that he's going to have to struggle through and overcome this issue. And to top it off, the Hanley dog died; Rod and Donna found her out by a tree.
I felt overwhelmed with concern and fear and determination. I went in the kitchen and made us a fruit salad, I was so determined to do something healthy. But of course, like Aaron reminded me, we can't control everything. Sometimes it's the healthiest people, who eat right and exercise, that end up having a stroke and dying. And sometimes the boozers and smokers live to be 90. It doesn't always make sense. And it's not about our control; it's about our submission to an All-Knowing God. Ultimately, the circumstances of this world don't matter; yes, they're painful and difficult to overcome, but the truly significant comes from and through our hearts.
Tuesday night, at our women's Bible study, we were discussing James 1 and the trials we face. Donna asked a very appropriate question, "How do you respond to a trial?" Do I resist it, fight to change it, whine against it? Most often. Or, do I embrace it (uck, challenging verb) and ask God to use the situation to refine me? I hope that this answer becomes more frequent. For we know that this life isn't about comfort or even happiness. It's about glorifying God and becoming more holy.