Slow Down and Realize

We took a recent trip to St.Louis and stayed in a hotel for a couple of nights, which seems to be the most exciting part for our kids. Though Aaron and I groan over the cramped quarters, shared toilet and lack of privacy, the kids see the co-sleeping as a great adventure. In addition, they love watching their favorite shows on a large flat-screen TV--another item we don't have at home. 

Our three-year-old was glued to a PBS program when a commercial popped up. He immediately turned to me and said, "I don't like this show. Can you change it?" Because we don't own a TV and they've only ever watched Netflix or dvds, our kids couldn't grasp the concept of watching something you can't control. Corbin also didn't understand why his movie wasn't still on after we had come back from breakfast. The media was supposed to revolve around him.

Whether we jump on the carousel or not, our world is spinning fast, whirling with or without us. We have the option to put down the phone, pause the movie, TiVo our entertainment, stream our music, but it wouldn't surprise me if teleportation is mounting the horizon. Takes too long to get there? No problem; "Beam me up, Scotty." 

The last week or two I've been trying to create some more professional online space for myself. I've been blogging on blogspot for years and love it, but if I want to be noticed in a high-pitched world, I need to have a site unique and personal. 

The technical glitches and jargon tempted me to throw my computer out the backdoor and say, "Forget it! Give me a pen and notepad." I don't care about this junk anyway; I just want to create. 

What happened to the days when an author wasn't considered exceptional unless he or she was a recluse? Readers expected them to avoid the public eye; the mystery made them more intriguing and their work more desirable. Today you aren't even considered for publication unless you have thousands following you on social networking sites. Writers can spend more than half of their time just marketing (ahem, excuse me: tribe-building and branding). Authors no longer have time to do what they do best--write!

Anyway, the stress of it all wrapped me up in this restless angst; I growled at the kids, I neglected the house, and barely got dinner together. 

At one point during the chaos, my mom encouraged me to calm down, "You are letting all this stuff eat your lunch. You have no deadline; only self-imposed expectations." In other words, quit taking yourself so seriously; get some help. Relax. You aren't as important as you think you are...and neither is this list.

Last night, I was reading Yancey's book Prayer and I stumbled onto this little jewel: 

"When I sense that my activity means something and has worth, and so move faster and faster trying to accomplish more and more, at that moment I give in to pride and a feeling that all depends on me." (300)

What more can I say? I still have pages of work to complete, but I am trying to remember that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much I conquer. What matters is how well I loved my children (was I patient and fully present?). Did I take the time to listen to my husband, really listen? Did I encourage others? Serve them? To humbly submit to God? After all, I'm not Him. He's on the throne of this world and I'm his servant: not the other way around.

"God will give ear and humble them, he who is enthroned from of old, Selah, because they do not change and do not fear God." Psalm 55:19 (ESV)


(photo cred Felipe Santana)Unsplash

Surviving Life’s Storms Victoriously

This morning, I have the privilege of sharing the words of a dear friend, prayer warrior, and fellow writer.  Few women demonstrate such gracious poise and compassion over people. Quick to respond with prayer and confident to approach the throne of grace, Jennifer reaches beyond the temptations of merely pointing fingers and excusing behavior. She's the first to ask, "What can we do and how can we accomplish what the Lord wants in us?" I love her heart and humility, as further expounded in this post. 

Surviving Life’s Storms Victoriously
by Jennifer O. White

I can remember my mom confronting me with my inability to say, "I am sorry!" I suppose that was my first glance in the mirror at my own pride issues. I have really struggled with owning up to my weaknesses. It is OH SO EASY to see the weaknesses in other people. But wait .... does that mean it is easy for them to see the weaknesses in me?

Who am I kidding? 

Of course other people know my faults. This fact used to cause me enough anxiety to require medication. But several years ago, God invited me to pray for humility.

How do I know it was God who suggested it to me? I didn't know I had a pride problem, so it wasn't me having a logical discussion with myself and deducting this was a problem I should address. The enemy of my soul surely didn't suggest that I seek God for freedom from the very sin that had him cast out of heaven.

Our Secret Sins

A few years ago, my brother told me about a time when he knew God was calling him to confess a hidden sin to his Bible study group. He was very nervous about doing it, but he knew it was God’s will and God’s prompting. So he did it. He boldly confessed his sin and asked each person to forgive him. Each person offered him forgiveness. And that was the end of his struggle with that particular sin. His obedience opened the door to his healing.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” James 5:16

One of my weaknesses in marriage has been to rehearse the things that frustrate me. I have a WONDERFUL husband and I have failed him many times by nurturing dishonoring thoughts about him.

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

Thankfully, my counselor had been teaching me how toxic those thoughts are to our relationship. I followed her advice and practiced confessing to God each thought as it came up. Then I would ask for God's forgiveness.  My side of the conversation with God would go something like this:

“God, I know that thought about David was not from You. Please forgive me. I forgive David for … (when forgiving him was necessary).”

I would breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I had been obedient. Within minutes another dishonoring thought would race across the movie screen of my mind. Each time I chose confession and forgiveness, I found it easier to resist the thought. Today, I realize that I was living out James 4:7. I was submitting myself to God and resisting the devil, which comes with the promise that the devil will then flee from you. This act of obedience also helped me avoid having a root of bitterness take over my heart.

“See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:15

Windshield Wipers & Storms

God helped me to see the importance of confessing and practicing forgiveness as a powerful combination with the following illustration. The storms of life are as sure and unpredictable as the thunderstorms that frightened us as kids. Today we drive through storms to get where we want to go and we use our windshield wipers to see our way through the storm.

In the relationship storms of our lives, we have confession and forgiveness as the tools to see through the storm. As windshield wipers cast down the pouring rain, confessing our sin and asking for forgiveness casts down the rebellious thoughts and arguments designed to separate us from God.

“We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

The next time you find yourself rehearsing the faults of others remember to turn on the windshield wipers of your mind. Choose to obey God's instructions to honor others, confess the sin, ask for forgiveness, and forgive the other person. Your choice will bring peace and confidence in the midst of life’s storms.

“And this righteousness will bring peace. Yes, it will bring quietness and confidence forever.” Isaiah 32:17

AND you will open the door to the healing God offers.

Jennifer O. White is the author of Prayers for New Brides: Putting on God’s Armor After the Wedding Dress and Marriage Armor for the #PrayingBride. Get your free copy of Seeing Your Spouse through God’s Eyes, a very important chapter from her book, here at JenniferOWhite.com