When Fear Says "No," But God Says "Yes!"

Today I have the privilege of introducing you to a fellow Bible-study sister. Carolyn helps lead worship at our church, and lead she does. Her humble vulnerability before the throne of God invites others to open their hearts to the Lord with more abandon and passion. For years she's encouraged others on FB with her devotional encounters, and after numerous promptings from readers, she's starting her own blog! Today she's talking about overcoming fear. 

Guest post by Carolyn Hill 

Have you ever felt like your calling was diminished to yesterday's trash in 30 seconds flat? I certainly have felt that way! Just when I finally allowed the Holy Spirit to make me brave enough to step fully into my calling, along came a powerful force of discouragement, and mockery.  Case in point: singing has always been an integral part of my life. But the way I would cut loose and bare my heart in music at home was always a well-kept secret.  I worried too much about what people would think.

I had heard the phrase, "Who do you think you are?" too many times, and it reverberated over and over again in my impressionable brain. I really didn't know who I was, or why God had given me such a passion to sing. As I grew up, I started singing more and more (actually in public) because it could not be completely suppressed. 

Ultimately, singing became my lucrative career for 15 years. However, I always held back. Always. Underlying fear still gripped me, and kept me from truly being "all that God made me to be." But in my late 20's I began leading worship, and a transformation began to happen in me. It took a season of over 10 years to learn how to worship...for real...not for show. God was working on my heart, and I found myself becoming completely free to sing and worship Him with everything I had...my mind, body, spirit and soul! For the first time I was not holding back. How could I? It was all about Him, not me.  I had found my identity in Him, and I was experiencing joy in His presence! 

One Sunday I woke up with so much fervor and excitement to praise Jesus that I could hardly contain myself! And as I was leading worship, I felt a warm sensation start from my head and flow down to my toes. It is hard to describe...but I felt completely loved. At one point I began to jump with joy just like a delighted child, completely enthralled with my Heavenly Father. When church was over, I could not stop my tears from flowing. They were cleansing tears...of relief, joy and love! 

As I was gathering my things and getting ready to leave, a person that I had known and looked up to for a long time called me over. She told me that the way I had behaved during worship was disgraceful and embarrassing. She said it was obviously all about drawing attention to myself! She told me she had never seen anyone act that way in her life! She shook her head and walked away. I felt like she had slapped me and spit in my face! Her words hurt me so deeply. Now my tears were flowing from heartache. I felt ashamed. If you break that word "ashamed" down, it describes how I felt: a sham. I started to doubt that what I had experienced was real. I started questioning everything. The one thing that I thought I had been freed of--the fear of being judged--assaulted me. Again, I was hearing, "Who do you think you are?" 

 Well, the Lord did not let me suffer in this shame for very long. As I made a beeline to my car, a mentor of mine found me crying and comforted me. And then the Lord began to reassure my heart that the worship experience I had with Him was real, and not only that, but it had deeply moved many people in the church. 

Soon after that, without ever telling anyone else about my experience, I started hearing from people who felt the Holy Spirit move their hearts during that time of worship. Many felt freedom to worship like never before! God confirmed this to me many times. And then He urged me to not only forgive the lady who hurt me, but to also pray for her as well! As I began to pray for her over a period of two years, God gave me so much compassion for her that I would be moved to tears on her behalf. I pleaded with the Lord that she would know Him the way that I was so blessed to know Him! I am happy to report that she has never said another hurtful thing to me again. And I hold no grudge against her, and I believe with all of my heart God is doing a work in her! And He has done such a work in me! My worst fear became a reality, and I had to face it. But I have come to realize Satan wants to diminish us and our calling like yesterday's trash in 30 seconds flat, but he will not succeed! I have found great consolation in this truth from Nehemiah 2:19-20; ...they mocked and ridiculed us....I answered them by saying, "The God of heaven will give us success!" And in 4:14, "Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome!"

See, all of those years I missed out because I believed that what people would think, say or do was not worth the risk. Now I see that even when those fears became reality, the experience wasn't so bad! God's calling is worth the opposition and He will always get the final victory!

Surviving Life’s Storms Victoriously

This morning, I have the privilege of sharing the words of a dear friend, prayer warrior, and fellow writer.  Few women demonstrate such gracious poise and compassion over people. Quick to respond with prayer and confident to approach the throne of grace, Jennifer reaches beyond the temptations of merely pointing fingers and excusing behavior. She's the first to ask, "What can we do and how can we accomplish what the Lord wants in us?" I love her heart and humility, as further expounded in this post. 

Surviving Life’s Storms Victoriously
by Jennifer O. White

I can remember my mom confronting me with my inability to say, "I am sorry!" I suppose that was my first glance in the mirror at my own pride issues. I have really struggled with owning up to my weaknesses. It is OH SO EASY to see the weaknesses in other people. But wait .... does that mean it is easy for them to see the weaknesses in me?

Who am I kidding? 

Of course other people know my faults. This fact used to cause me enough anxiety to require medication. But several years ago, God invited me to pray for humility.

How do I know it was God who suggested it to me? I didn't know I had a pride problem, so it wasn't me having a logical discussion with myself and deducting this was a problem I should address. The enemy of my soul surely didn't suggest that I seek God for freedom from the very sin that had him cast out of heaven.

Our Secret Sins

A few years ago, my brother told me about a time when he knew God was calling him to confess a hidden sin to his Bible study group. He was very nervous about doing it, but he knew it was God’s will and God’s prompting. So he did it. He boldly confessed his sin and asked each person to forgive him. Each person offered him forgiveness. And that was the end of his struggle with that particular sin. His obedience opened the door to his healing.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” James 5:16

One of my weaknesses in marriage has been to rehearse the things that frustrate me. I have a WONDERFUL husband and I have failed him many times by nurturing dishonoring thoughts about him.

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

Thankfully, my counselor had been teaching me how toxic those thoughts are to our relationship. I followed her advice and practiced confessing to God each thought as it came up. Then I would ask for God's forgiveness.  My side of the conversation with God would go something like this:

“God, I know that thought about David was not from You. Please forgive me. I forgive David for … (when forgiving him was necessary).”

I would breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I had been obedient. Within minutes another dishonoring thought would race across the movie screen of my mind. Each time I chose confession and forgiveness, I found it easier to resist the thought. Today, I realize that I was living out James 4:7. I was submitting myself to God and resisting the devil, which comes with the promise that the devil will then flee from you. This act of obedience also helped me avoid having a root of bitterness take over my heart.

“See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:15

Windshield Wipers & Storms

God helped me to see the importance of confessing and practicing forgiveness as a powerful combination with the following illustration. The storms of life are as sure and unpredictable as the thunderstorms that frightened us as kids. Today we drive through storms to get where we want to go and we use our windshield wipers to see our way through the storm.

In the relationship storms of our lives, we have confession and forgiveness as the tools to see through the storm. As windshield wipers cast down the pouring rain, confessing our sin and asking for forgiveness casts down the rebellious thoughts and arguments designed to separate us from God.

“We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

The next time you find yourself rehearsing the faults of others remember to turn on the windshield wipers of your mind. Choose to obey God's instructions to honor others, confess the sin, ask for forgiveness, and forgive the other person. Your choice will bring peace and confidence in the midst of life’s storms.

“And this righteousness will bring peace. Yes, it will bring quietness and confidence forever.” Isaiah 32:17

AND you will open the door to the healing God offers.

Jennifer O. White is the author of Prayers for New Brides: Putting on God’s Armor After the Wedding Dress and Marriage Armor for the #PrayingBride. Get your free copy of Seeing Your Spouse through God’s Eyes, a very important chapter from her book, here at JenniferOWhite.com