Who Gives a Care?

As many of you know, my sleeping is often fueled with nightmares. It's been that way most of my life. A few nights back I woke up with my heart pounding and my breathing rapid.  I immediately started praying, thanking God that my children indeed had not been kidnapped and forced into the sex-slave trade, but also asking God for forgiveness and seeking His purpose in what He wants of me.

Why the frantic reaction and compulsion to repent?

Some months back I read a book entitled, Renting Lacy: A Story of America's Prostituted Children.  In it, Linda Smith, former Congress woman and founder of Shared Hope International, portrays the horrors of America's child sex trade.  Being a woman of action, these realities propelled me to do something.  First off, awareness is key.  How many other people like me think the sex trade is really only a problem in India and Africa?   After all, the only prostitution in our country is in Las Vegas, and those women chose that occupation.  Right?  So many misconceptions had been corrected, I wanted to help others in my community realize this problem too.

I shared some FB notes and asked how many people would be interested in helping me with a fundraiser or dinner/awareness night.  A few did.

But I lost momentum after talking to a dear friend.  She meant well, but her words kind of took the wind out of my sails.  She told me that unless people could see how it would directly affect them, they wouldn't be motivated.  If there wasn't a problem directly tied to their city or a threat to their children, than I probably wouldn't get very far.  I understood what she said, but the thought upset me.  Is that what it means to be changers of the world, Christ's ambassadors?  Only that which directly impacts us will generate compassion?  I hoped it wasn't as true as she projected.  But I let it go.

For several months, maybe even over a year now, I did nothing.  I'd send money to Shared Hope International when I had a little and would read updates on occasion.  But I slumped into the very position my friend said others would be in.  The sex trade didn't stir my world and I started to lose sight of the problem.  I failed to pray. I failed to get involved.  I failed to spread awareness.

And then I had that nightmare. Thankfully, my children are safely at home with me.  But many children are kidnapped, abducted by "boyfriends" and get lost in the sex trade.  Many parents are frantic, searching.  And God reminded me: these are my children.  Are you going to care? Are you going to do what you can? Are you going to listen to Me and pray?

"Will anyone else join me?  Will anyone else care, God?"

And as my mom used to tell us kids, "It doesn't matter.  You worry about you and what you need to do."

So, I will.  I'm not exactly sure what God has for me, but I want to be open to His direction.  I want to be a part of the fight to stop the DEMAND and to bring kids back to restoration and peace.

James 4:17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

More thoughts on "Mercy"

Wow, just read this post by Ann Voskamp.   I love how God continues to expose me to an idea over and over again.  This struggle with prayer, and hope, and trust, and unbelief.

Please read, "When All Hope Feels Like a Drought"  http://www.aholyexperience.com/

Mercy!

In the last year especially, I've sought out what it means to pray.  Prior to becoming a mother and realizing how little control I actually have over my life, prayer stooped before the other "Christian disciplines."  I always admired those who prayed diligently and coveted the term "prayer warrior."  But I wasn't there.  Not by a long shot.

And I'm still not.

The more I learn about communicating and relying on God, the more I realize how far I have to go.

But to me, prayer is about control--relinquishing it in my mind to the One who has always possessed it.

I read an incredible devotion in Our Daily Bread yesterday.  Anne Cetas uses the illustration of bending another person's hands back to get them to the point of screaming "Mercy!"

We often try to get God to give up and give in to our wishes, instead of bending to His will. It's about manipulating the cosmic bellboy to do our bidding. "When it seems we aren't winning, we try a little harder to convince Him by begging or bargaining.  We may even give up grudgingly and say, 'Lord, You always win! That's not fair!'

"Occasionally in our honesty a demanding spirit comes out.  In our wiser moments, we make our requests known to our Lord, surrender them to Him, rely on His grace, and wait for His answers (Phil. 4:6-7)."

Surrendering and declaring "Mercy" to our Father is about trusting His all-sufficient and loving arms.

"Be glad and eager to throw yourself unreservedly into His loving arms, and to hand over the reins of government to Him."  ~ Hannah Whitall Smith

The Separated

Thoughts on some ugly attributes that have disturbed my peace.

Here's some of them:

*Favoritism really bothers me and I really want to be better at avoiding it myself.  As Beth Moore says, we should try to lift up everyone's head, not leave anyone with head lowered or eyes averted.
It's painful to be on the degrading end of favoritism and I certainly don't want to make anyone else feel that way.
I realize we can't be friends with everyone (the emotional energy would kill us), but would a smile kill us?  Or a simple hello?

*Segregation or a lack of unity (yes, somewhat tied to the first one) makes me bristle--especially within Christian circles.  Aren't we all part of one Body?  Aren't we going to spend eternity together?  Why do we act like this is some kind of competition?

*And lastly, for today, I don't like fake people.  Perhaps this is me being hypocritical and playing favorites, but it's really hard for me to interact with people who refuse to express any vulnerability or depth.


I suppose all these festering problems stem from a lack of understanding.  We have to know who we are and why we are here if we're going to sufficiently push away from these traps.

I have to know what God says about me (I am His; I am lovable b/c I am His, and my worth is in Him alone--not money, position, education, beauty, or status).
When I "get it" then I am free to treat people equally and not feel overwrought with disappointment when others don't treat me in turn.

So, I'm trying.

I'm not there and I still have awkward, uncomfortable moments, but I am learning to find my security in Christ, not in others.

Friday Fun

So, I have a lot of heavy thoughts whirling around in my brain right now.  Big surprise, huh? As much as I feel the need to write it all out, I just haven't been able to formulate the abstract to the communicative.

Thus, I'm avoiding the task for now and leaving you with a little clip from a friend of mine.  He helped out this talented student, Jordan Mederich, and the video went viral in a couple of days.


http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=0B2M2MNU&utm_source=GodTube+Must-See+Video&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=07%2F18%2F2012

Living Still~ Guest Blogger, Abby Lewis

Abby Lewis is a local massage therapist, writer, and sweet friend.  Her book inspires and challenges readers to step away from the chaos, slow down, and be still before the Lord. I'd encourage you all to check out her blog and read her book.

Guest Writer:  Abby Lewis

Title:  Warning:  Drought Conditions . . . Danger Ahead? 

During my walk the other morning, I saw that most of the yards I passed were dying.  There was no color left in the grass or flowers and the leaves on the trees were beginning to turn.  Yet a few houses down, I saw a yard vibrant and alive, full of color and beauty.  It is obvious why one yard is thriving and why the other one isn’t, right?   We all know the answer to that.  One has been nurtured, fed and watered, causing it to thrive while the other one has not, causing it to dry up and begin to die. 

I love nature and it breaks my heart to see everything dying during this drought, to see the life and color just fade out of God’s beautiful creation.  But there is something that breaks my heart even more….people in a spiritual drought. 

I look around and see exactly what I saw during my walk the other morning.  I see some people thriving, full of joy, peace and love and then I turn around and see others who are stressed, bitter, full of anxiety, depressed, angry and so much more.  I would guess that the ones who are thriving are choosing to spend time with God while the other ones aren’t.  The ones who are full of joy are choosing to feed themselves daily with the word of God while the other ones are listening to their own wisdom.  The ones who are full of peace are choosing to seek the heart of God in the midst of their circumstances while the other ones are relying on themselves to figure it all out. 

It breaks my heart so much to see this because 10 years ago I was there.  I experienced what life was like when a person chooses to live far away from God, when a person chooses to live in a spiritual drought.   I was only twenty-four years old, but I was in complete chaos.  I suffered from extreme anxiety, control issues, depression and numerous addictions.  My marriage was falling apart, as were my relationships with my entire family.  My thoughts and words were filled with negativity and lies, and I had accumulated major credit card debt.  As my problems piled up, they began to manifest physically through severe neck and back pain, as well as numbness in my left arm and left side of my face.  I had no love for myself, no joy, no peace and no happiness. My entire life was in complete and utter chaos.

So how did I come out of all of this?  How did I begin to thrive and be so full of life?  How did I become peaceful and joyful?  How did I get out of the spiritual drought I was in?  It really is very simple.  I chose to spend focused time with God each day, and in the midst of it, I learned the practice of “living still.”

What is living still?  Living still is not adopting a life of inactivity or solitude; rather, it is choosing to live in tune with the voice of God in the midst of the inevitable noise around us.  Living still is recognizing that without God, we cannot experience the fullness of life. It is choosing to trust God more than we trust ourselves. Living still is learning to rest in God’s perfect love for us. It is taking the time to listen to His still, small voice with the expectation that He will lovingly guide us, one step at a time, toward freedom. The practice of living still works. Learning to live this way delivered me from the pit and continues to transform my life each day.  And, I am confident that living still can change your life too.

Read Abby Lewis’ powerful, life changing story, in her new book Living Still.

For a limited time, download the Living Still e book for FREE.

Click Here to Look Inside Living Still

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Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10

Abby Lewis has a degree in Health and Wellness and her massage therapy license. She is the author of Living Still and producer of A Breath~in Stillness.  Her life’s work is to passionately encourage others to experience transformation of spirit, mind and body by learning to practice “living still.”  In January of 2006 Abby opened her own business called Healing Naturally. To learn more about Abby visit her website at  www.myjourneytohealing.com